Mutatis Mutandis

Change only what needs changing. This Latin phrase is usually used in mathematics to save lazy mathematicians (FYI, all mathematicians are lazy) but for some reason, this phrase keeps playing in my mind. Isn't this how we approach life? Maybe "life" is too big a word. How about relationships? More specifically, relationships that we wish to retain. I mean, why bother about people that we have no intention in developing relationships with? I am not talking about couple relationships, but just relationships in general, platonic, business, and of course, sexual. I venture to claim that people who have "perfect" relationships, and by this, I mean the ideal, unconditional relationships, in their dreams. For example, guys play ignorant and claim that they are who they are and girls should never try to change them, or the more ridiculous, "I have a girls' night out with my friends and this is what girls do". Well, sad news, guys and girls, in this life, we always have to have priorities, something must be done before the other, just because time is irreversible. So if you place more importance in your relationship with a particular someone, you have to change your priorities to fit with that person's wants, and sometimes needs. This doesn't go so far as to say that we have to change our lives completely for the sake of someone that we deem is important to us. Hence, mutatis mutandis.

From my personal experience, change is vital in maintaining a strong relationship. I used to be very stubborn in being who I am. I didn't care what other people thought about me, I didn't care if I hurt someone else's feelings, not because I am mean, but because I felt that they should just get over it because there is more to life than just "that something that was troubling them", usually something I deem as very trivial such as "my cat died", or "I think I might get a C in my mid-term test", or "I can't find my notes". That must have been the longest modifying clause ever. So anyway, when someone means a lot more to you than anyone else does, things change. I was ready and willing to change my ways, to try to be gentler, and more sensitive, and in a more metro-sexual context, not detest shopping. But then again, people then say, "but, but, but... that would mean you're not yourself anymore". Well, I say, "mutatis mutandis". Change only what needs changing