Why Do I... ?

I believe it is safe to assume that any rational human being will at one point or another question him/herself "Why did I do this?" It is only natural that we question our intentions on all conscious acts. I mean we don't ask why do we breathe and ponder over it for hours because we simply have to breathe. But on occasions, we ponder our intentions and wonder if things would turn out differently if we had done something else. Sometimes, we ponder our intentions and wonder if what we are doing, makes sense. By this, I mean, we naturally wonder if what we did has any meaning in it. It's probably synonymous to asking "What is the meaining of life?"

But rather than asking yourself this never-ending question, you can try asking, "Do I like what I am doing?". Does why we do what we do really matter? Why am I so engrossed in such a philosophical matter? Because I am retarded. When I am done with this, you will think I am hilarious.

As some of you might know, I quit Warcraft some time ago and decided to pick up new hobbies. That was the period when I started questioning my own actions. I figured that I should focus on doing what is good for my life and my future. I decided that playing computer games was not good for me and that I should be focussing on straightening my life, studying, doing my resume, focus my energy on getting an internship and hope that I land upon a great job opportunity. Basically, I asked myself, "Why am I playing computer games?" Should I be playing computer games, now that I am close to being 22 already? So I quit Warcraft and all other games.

But recently, I started playing Warcraft again. Is it a bad thing? No, I am not asking you. It's a rhetorical question. When I started playing again, especially AT (Arranged Teams), I felt the adrenaline rush all over again, a feeling I did not have for a long time. AT is all about quick decision-making, fast reactions, and most importantly, the competitive spirit. All teams are motivated by their desire to win, to overcome the opposition, to achieve a sense of victory that is probably lacking in their lives in other areas :) So I am glad I have found the rush again. I have no regrets.

So now you know what my philosophical argument with myself is about. It's just about Warcraft 3. Perhaps it's more than that. Perhaps it's what I have just chosen to do with my life. I have decided to live for the moment, and decided to do what excites me, to do what makes me happy right now, than to focus on what COULD make me happy in the future. Warcraft rules!