A Walk Worthwhile...

I have been thinking about this for a while now and I never really got around to answer it myself. Why do people keep blogs? Specifically, why do bother maintaining my personal blog? I mean, it is one thing to share my thoughts and feelings with the world, but is that it? There just has to be more than this. I even titled my blog, "A Walk To Remember". I guess that really says it all for me, or so I thought. I am not known for ranting about whatever shit that happens in my life, in fact, I am very seldom in a sharing mood. Why do I keep a blog if I don't intend to share? Well, it's not that I don't like sharing, I actually love to share my thoughts and feelings and especially experiences. But just not in a blog. But just as the word share would suggest, I'd like sharing to be a two-way exchange. I'd like some feedback every now and then. But I digress.

So why is this "walk" worth remembering? I think about all the posts that I have written thus far, and I don't remember all of them. Maybe that's why I need to write them down. But why let other people into my private thoughts? Or are they really meant to be private? Am I just letting off steam? Am I just expressing the pent-up frustration that resides within me most of the time? Do I have anger-management issues? I'd like to think that I am actually a pretty laid-back guy. I work best when I am relaxed. My mind works like magic when I feel no pressure. Maybe that's why I suck at exams. But the funny thing about all of this is, my mind refuses to work at all if there is no impending deadline. This is pretty ironic, but this is what America does to you. The lack of challenge in my final semesters at college is just dulling my sharpest tool (Fuck you, Kok, not what you're thinking about).

I can't wait to go out to "the world" and be who I am meant to be. As Philip Zimbardo put it, "Every one of us has the capacity to be a hero... a hero is not someone extraordinary, but someone ordinary put in an extraordinary situation doing an extraordinary deed." Maybe, just maybe, if you believe enough, at some point in our lives, we will be put into a situation when you know was you were just meant to be there, you were born for that moment, and that is when you know your "walk" was worthwhile, a walk worth remembering.

A New Cause

One of the cool things in college life is that your professor brings a movie to class and lets you watch it during class time. One of the 25 000 wonders in life. Just the other day, Professor Kirby, who is my Geology professor, brought Al Gore's documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth" to class for the students "pleasure". Now, I am not going to go on a rant about what the movie is about, or praise how good it is, or criticize how bad it is, but what I would like to point is not that global warming is a fact, but the movie has inspired me to pursue a cause. Not that, all of a sudden I am going to be super environment-friendly or anything like that. What I am saying is that I believe that by pursuing a cause, will definitely give me, and most probably you, a more fulfilling life. I stress the phrase, "... a cause...", not Al Gore's cause. I mean, it's not like I had no aim in life or anything, I have always wanted to reduce world poverty and all that good shit, but that is where the difference is. The difference is between having a cause, and "pursuing" a cause. I had a cause, but I never really tried hard to do anything about it. I kept telling myself I am not ready, but we all know it's an excuse. The pursuit of a cause requires motivating people, other than myself, to have a common goal, to work and contribute towards an ideal. So anyhow, I just wanna comment that Al Gore did a good job motivating people towards the common goal in reducing global warming. I stress that it is not that he single-handedly reduced global warming, but I think that he has successfully put across the message to the general public that global warming is coming, whether we like it or not, and it's coming fast. So, in short, pursuing a cause is about leaving messages, messages that induce thought and awareness, which is always a good start, which of course, should always be followed by action, otherwise, nothing would happen anyway. So as I have preached (overly so), it is very important that the world needs to know how to be financially intelligent, so that they can stay rich and not squander their money away through debt and interest payments. So, hopefully, after you read this, you will think about what financial intelligence means and what you can do to be financially intelligent.

HARD Talk

Check out the video on this link.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/hardtalk/6992908.stm

You need Real Player, but if you don't have it, it will be worthwhile to get it, especially if you are Malaysian.

I like the way how the reporter schools Syed Hamid Albar, but her research was not enough to finish him off and let him escape at the end of the interview with some good comeback punches. If only I was the one doing the interview... Hmm... but you guys would probably have to apply for a visiting pass to prison to see me then.

10 Things I Hate About...

This marks the beginning of my "10 Things I Hate About (Something)" series. What inspired this? Well, you are about to see that real soon. In this episode, we are going to discuss the 10 things I hate about life. So, here we go:

10. Computer viruses

Ern's computer caught a fucked up virus that freezes her computer at the "Welcome" screen of windows. I spent about 2 hours trying to fix it to no avail. Oh how I hate computer viruses.

9. Computer viruses

OMG, did I say I hate computer viruses? I REALLY REALLY HATE COMPUTER VIRUSES!!

8. Liars

I can stand liars. I mean, I lie all the time, but we all know it's in good fun. But real liars are intolerable. People who say one thing, and then behind your back, they change their word, and some are just worse; they don't even bother to do it behind your back. But I guess that's in some ways better than those who do it behind your back. At least they come out in front of you. But I still detest liars.

7. Pretenders

Why are pretenders worse than liars? Or rather, why do I hate pretenders more than liars? What is the difference anyway? Liars just speak things that are not true. But pretenders, they live it. Why is living a lie worse than telling lies? Well, it's pretty intuitive, don't you think? I guess if you really want to look on the bright side from my perspective, at least they are cheating themselves.

6. Leechers I

The first kind of leecher is more of a geekspeak kind of leecher. In the world of file-sharing, leechers are people who download from others and never let others download from them. Oh wow, you can't even share free stuff. What the hell is wrong with you?

5. Leechers II

The second kind of leechers that I hate, are those that leech off of my abilities. Now, I am not boasting here because I don't have many abilities that people can leech off of. But I really hate people who never talk to me for over two years and all of a sudden, they want to know why the government or the central bank can control economic activity through open market operations or want me to vet some report for them. Don't you find this ridiculous?

4. Whiners

Everybody hates whiners. 'Nuff said.

3. Sore losers

Wow, there's a limit to being bitter about losing. You can suck it up, go home and wait to fight another day. You don't need to insult your opponents after you lose.

2. Idiots/Assholes (many other names for this group)

How can you ever skip this in a hate list, right? I can't stand people who just do ridiculously ridiculous things. I mean, they are not stupid people, I have nothing against the ill-informed, but I just despise those who keep doing stupid things over and over.

Now, for number 1...

1. Computer viruses

Did I say computer viruses already? HOLY SHIT, nothing has ever pissed me off more than computer viruses and idiots who keep sending them to other people and infect other people's computers. Seriously, if your computer has been infected, please get it repaired AT ALL COSTS, not ignore it and deal with it while it kills other people's computers as well.

This Cannot Be It

This cannot be it. Yet it is.

For many people, the year ends on the 31st of December. For me, the year ends when a new one begins. For many people, their senior years will seem to be the most significant of their lives up to that point. For me, I just felt like I already had the most significant year of my life up to this point. My junior year was full of ups and downs, and most definitely filled with lots of character building experiences. The first semester of junior year seemed to last longer than all other semesters because of a very special vertically challenged, yet horizontally inclined woman who tried to teach me Statistical Modelling. Plus, I was suffering (I like to think that it was induced by this special woman) from what one of my other professors referred to as "senioritis".

Senioritis: Senioritis is an imaginary syndrome attributed to students nearing the end of high school and college in the United States and Canada. Its symptoms can include laziness, procrastination, apathy toward schoolwork, and truancy.

Well, just to clarify, I was most certainly not truant, and definitely not apathetic towards school work. But I was lazy, and I procrastinated. I felt like I needed to get out of college, and do something more practical. But after the long Fall semester ended, I had the great fortune of being able to study abroad in Melbourne. That would probably be the best time of my life, with almost no problems and stress, and also filled with what I reluctantly claim to be, happiness.

However, towards the end of this year, I suffered (not sure if this is the right term, but I will use the word in accordance to what normal people would feel if they had the similar experience) a pretty significant setback. I managed (somehow) to fail my Financial Mathematics final exam which meant that this was my first fail in the history of my life. I am sure many of you feel sorry for me, even those of you who don't know me that well. The trouble with this is, I may have been disappointed for a short while, but for some reason, I can't seem to think of this as a setback. It feels more like an achievement. Mainly because when I keep thinking about why and how I failed the exam, I realized that I have done so much more in terms of my life. I had given my priorities to things that were more important in my life while putting less effort into the exam. I did not expect to fail, don't get me wrong. I did not even give up. But I sure as hell did not study hard enough. I know that for sure because I felt that I needed more time during the exam. This can only happen because of the lack of practice. I know what I lacked. But that was not why I failed, at least not the root of it.

I think I took the path less traveled by. I know many people have read Robert Frost's poem and thought that taking the path less traveled by simply meant choosing the path that is less taken, making an outrageous decision that is contrary to public opinion. But I was later informed that Frost was talking about having two very similar choices, not a choice that fits the norm while another that doesn't. He was talking about making a choice that is less chosen among two very similar and difficult choices. Basically that was what happened before my final exam. I realized that even though doing well in my final exam was very important for my future, I decided that I could afford to not do as well while placing my priorities on where my heart was. I guess Ern's happiness means so much more to me than just a grade on my exam.

That being said, I still feel disappointed about my failure. Many people are shocked, so was I. But in a more positive light, this feels more like an achievement than many of the As that I have throughout college. Not only is this a humbling experience, but it is most definitely eye-opening. Just as Bruce Wayne's father used to ask him when he was a boy,

Bruce, why do we fall? Because we can learn to pick ourselves up.

So I cannot say that I actually fell, but in the eyes of many, I probably did. I am not one to dwell on what others think about me. I just know that in light of such events, I realized that by trusting my heart, no matter what happens, even in the face of the darkest hours, I still feel strong and brave and march on.

It is still a black mark in my otherwise clean history. But as they say,

People who have never failed in life have never really succeeded either.

Is it as simple as that? The justification of my failure? This cannot be it. Yet it is.

Internet Explorer... you pathetic piece of shit

Okay, I haven't posted anything in a while, but that's because there isn't much to post at all. It is not that there's nothing interesting worth sharing in my life, rather, it's just that there's nothing that I want to share or can share with the public at this point. However, I just tried to access my blog using IE from the Math Library in the University of Melbourne and my blog looked like crap. So I tried accessing with Firefox and everything was completely fine. This clearly shows that IE is a piece of garbage and if you are still using IE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE go download Firefox before you come back to my site again. Or else, I will ban you from visiting my site.

Too Fast Too Furious

Immediately our mind races over to the engine throttles and the smooth gear shifts as well as the breakneck speed or the weak drifting, depending on which movie you watched. However, recently, I have discovered something that goes even faster than the nitro-charged street-cars (barring planes and shit), that is, my haste.

Time and again I have failed to think before I speak. Often times, I hurt people and sometimes I infuriate them without realizing what I have done, and what is ultimately worse, without intension. For the better (in terms of length and quality) of my life, I strive to think before I speak. Or so I think. Several events of late have in some sense, humbled me, and in a larger sense kick-started a process of self-reflection and transformation.

Without going into detail, I feel that I have been very careless with the way I speak to people. My sense of humor, albeit sensational (self-praise is no praise), is usually derived at the expense of a certain someone and in most cases, towards the person I am speaking to. Now that I have thought about it more carefully, some of those people must have felt hurt or angry because of my nonchalant comments. In the past, I have always disregarded the feelings of others, mainly because I was ignorant, but also because I couldn't be bothered. Furthermore, I excuse myself by thinking that some people just can't take jokes.

Fortunately, I am an advocate of personal change. For too long I have hurt people without caring. For too long I have let my speech exceed the speed limit, and what's ultimately worse, for too long I have pissed people off without realizing or intending to do so.